Wednesday, 23 January 2013

OmniTips: How to Live Happy

You know what? I just realized the "What I'm Working On" Thursday spot is going to be the same for another month, the rate I'm going. If you've missed out on what that was (and are not going to scroll down the inch it takes to see the post), I summarize it in this: CASSANDRE DAYNE YOU SEXY CHARACTER MURDERER YOU.

In the meantime, I thought I'd post what little wisdom I've procured in my short life. Someone somewhere might get something out of it. So I present to you: OmniTip.
Not to be confused.
I don't pretend to be Confucius, but I've certainly picked up a few pro tips here and there about how to just... function better. Not just at your job, not just your relationships, but life in general. The first and simplest tip that comes to mind is this:

OmniTip #1: Refuse to be Angry

I just shit my pants! Yay!
Without realizing it, I've lived by this nearly my whole life. I can count on one hand how many times I'd been truly, irrefutably angry, and all those times were short-lived. Angry to me is like "hate" to "strong word." I take anger and derivatives thereof (such as frustration, impatience, contempt) seriously. The reason being that it causes me stress. If I let it be known that I'm angry at someone for something, chances are they get angry/stressed too. And then it snowballs into bigger problems--dislike, lack of cooperation, useless grudges, and all-round negative feelings towards someone or something.

Anger, or something like it, can be a natural reaction, most certainly. There's nothing you can do about it. What you can do about it is change how you handle it. Let's say someone cut you off. Your significant other said something insulting to you in front of your friends. A stock you bought just went crashing through the floor. You've lost your job for Lord knows what reasons.
Your plastic surgery went horribly awry
Stop. Realize that you're angry. Ask yourself why you're angry. Take a deep breath (I know you hear that everywhere, but it actually works), relax your body, and think to yourself what the most diplomatic approach is next.

Not everyone is diplomatic. In fact, some of you would say "No way he's getting away with that shit!" Sure, don't let him get away with it. But if you let your anger get away with you, then you're reducing your chances of effective argument. When people perceive you as calm, they will likely become calmer, and in turn they will be more willing to listen to you, maybe even see your merit, even if they thought you were a crazy ass bitch just a minute ago.

I don't have articles or citations to throw at you like a wiki wizard, but I've worked with people in customer service and like industries for years, and I started to notice these things about people. We influence each other with body language and tone more than we realize. You control yourself, you make yourself known far better, people are able to function properly. No stress, no mess, everyone remains able, performs better, produces better work. On and on.

I see your contemplation and raise you greener grass.
So try this during the week: Say you usually bitch and moan to a friend/significant other after work about what some A-hole did that just pissed you off.

Do not bitch about it. Don't even think about it.

Well, no. You can think about it. But if you do, only about what that person was possibly thinking, about the reasoning behind his or her actions. Introspection might reveal that what happened was reasonable, or that you're not actually angry, just feel you ought to be.

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." Now, the chances that Siddhartha Gautama actually said that are pretty slim. But some Buddhist did. And he lived a happier life for it. You don't have to be Buddhist to think rationally.

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